☕Okay grab a cuppa coffee, pull up a comfy chair and let's have a chat.
This has been running around in my head for days now. You know those things that keep showing up in your conversations, news feeds, movies, shows, radio commercials...you get the idea. The synchronicities of the theme.
The theme nudging me is around being yourself. I know the whole (say it with me with sarcasm) authenticity.
This is a topic that doesn't seem to have a definitive term. The whole argument of am I being me...but if you hide pieces of you then it's not authentically you showing up. (You know this argument)
The argument continues with you hide bits of yourself for different reasons..fear of judgment, shame, we fear rejection.etc. Now insert a big sigh....
I get it, I have those fears too. We ALL have those fear of rejection, shame, fear, judgment and they are ongoing for many different things. One thing I have come to learn is people will always judge you . #Truthbomb dropping.
I mean it ...seriously ....there is always someone out there ready to judge any moment of time.
Now, wait before you snark at me a "what a pep talk Maggs"...
The facts are just stated, the part I want you to look at and dig into is what you hold back. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel small, sad, confused? Do you spend time worrying and anxious do you panic when you think that hidden part might have shown up? Maybe you just find things difficult to push forward, conversations are harder and you drag around dread.
Although when you finally get to bring out the hidden piece you feel relief, comfort and free. You seem to be busting full of creativity and joy. You just seem to be riding a wave of happiness and an abundance of good vibes.
Yeah, you know exactly what I am talking about.
Okay, this isn't magic and mind-reading I am doing. It is called, I experienced it too. I struggled and feared and listened to the wrong people. I would hide pieces, I even hid my talents and beliefs out of fear of judgment and rejection.
What happened was I was still judged and ultimately rejected because I was not still never good enough for them. Let me say it actually was a huge gift they gave me.
It of course hurt at first, but I realized these people never cared for me. They never truly valued me for ME. Only the things they thought were how I could benefit them, how could they use me. When I was finally freed and released and I pushed passed the hurt HOLY SHIT it felt so good.
I realized I am no longer going to be afraid, I am not going to worry if you feel I don't fit your vibe. COOL...no hard feeling but now move along and stop blocking the way for my real peeps. (You have this amazing power too😉)
Real peeps are the ones who love you for you. The ones who love you for being wrong in all the right ways. They don't follow the crowd, they don't fear the dragons, and they stir up amazing stuff in the cauldron of life.
I encourage you to take that leap, look at those bits you are hiding or (big parts of yourself) and realize keeping them secret... they hold you back. They bring your fear into the forefront. They have you dragging dread along with you. They stifle your creativity.
Are you ready to take the leap?
Are you ready to open up your creativity?
Wanting to kick anxiety in the cauldron?
Then let's do this.
Make a promise...not to me but to yourself that you will from here on out show up in all ways that feel right for you.(Okay maybe careful with wardrobe choice for work😉) Show up and feel good about what you say and do and skills you chose to now share.
You are an amazing beautiful human who deserves to be seen for the amazingness you possess. Let the world celebrate you and honor you. Because believe it or not that is what you will receive way more than those who judge you or shame you.
Rise my dear...the world is waiting for you. ❤
Today is a day that not much outside time will be had. Pouring rain and flood warnings are upon us. I have no worries, the universe provides these days not just for trees and flowers to grow but allows us time to quiet and think.
When rainy days like this hit it is a perfect time to take a bit calmer approach to the day. Let the mind wander more and spend time looking out at the rain. Maybe reflect what in life needs to be cleansed away or water what needs to be watered to grow.
Now this isn't just a business thought but a personal thought. Rainy days allow us to take a bit of personal inventory. Ask yourself questions like;
🍂 What am I tolerating that I don't need to be tolerating?
🍂 What can I expand and grow more of in my life?
🍂 Am I happy in the direction of my life?
🍂 Where can I create more me time?
Many times rainy days used to bring on sad moods or make it feel like nothing was going to get done. Until the perspective of the day changed. This time is provided to get personal inventory done which would not be attended to otherwise.
So what kinds of things are you putting off looking at in your life that a rainy day could provide you the time for?
Or do you use rainy days for something else? Something special? Let me know in the comments below how you like using rainy days.
Although things may look a bit different I think you will enjoy where this journey will be taking us.
As I mentioned in previous posts about changes that would be occurring, this with the visuals is just the start...content will change too.
I am getting real and raw at times. I am no longer holding back. See trying to fit in the cookie-cutter mold really held me back.
I struggled on how to best help you in that version. Then I had a reality check over the past few months and realized I help more of my tribe by just being me. Some serious wisdom had been bestowed upon me.
So for those who I have had the honor and privilege of working with know the real me. They often have said it was different from what I show on social media....well I am no longer looking to fracture my identity.
For those who may not like what shows up...totally okay to leave. I encourage you too actually. I want you to find the people who light you up and speak your language, Life is too short and fragile for anything less.
For those of you who stay with me...I FREAKING LOVE YOU. Thank you so much for being my peeps and letting me be me and allowing me the privilege to inspire you, guide you, motivate you or kick you in the ass.
💫Magic is about to start brewing ....along with my coffee😉☕️
🍁🍂Fall is here...And things are changing. An out with the old and in with the new adage fits here.
I love the fall...crisp cool air, changing colors of the leaves, hoodies, bon fires apples and pumpkins everywhere. Yes..my absolute favorite season.
It is also the season of my favorite Holiday Halloween. Now I like all the other holidays..but I LOVE Halloween, or around my house it's more of new house decor season.
Fall is also a great time of change and a beautiful reminder of what it can look like. Change doesnt have to be awful it can be stunningly beautiful.
You are about to see some changes happening here. You may even have spotted a few already.
These changes have been my inner cauldron for a few years if I am to be totally honest with you all about it.
When I started my online journey for my business, I totally embraced my unique vibe. It filled my heart and got me excited to open up the laptop every day.
Then I fell victim to my imposter mind. I was being talked into being "beige"... being like all the other online people afraid to stand out and be different. I was told I was immature, unrealistic and playing safe. (Cuz ya know beige isn't at all playing safe...It's okay you can laugh too)
But seriously, I fell for that shit. I was fed shovelfuls of crap to talk me into playing small and holding myself back. Not doing what I was desiring to give to the world, but instead being told "Not yet I will let you know when." I listened...I people pleased BIG TIME.
Now, understand I allowed myself to be talked into being beige. Full admission here. I don't hate being "beige" but it doesn't excite me either.
Maybe you are wondering what being beige is??
It's talking about what everyone else is talking about, using the voice (words) that everyone else's uses, it is using images that everyone else uses, it is all simple, sparkly, not authentic and definitely NO risk. It is kinda life-sucking for a person like me.
Now don't get me wrong I kinda like a magical sparkle now and again.
I am also the kinda gal who can cuss with the best of them, who sees the beauty in darkness as well as in the light. I know that people are deeper depths of both amazing magical worlds and deserve to be treated as such.
I don't want to just be superficial...I want to stir YOUR inner cauldron and watch the magic transform your life when it bubbles to the top.
As you continue to watch this page and read my words you will see more magic erupt from here. Magic is definitely happening...'tis the season for it too.
I am finally deciding to step out past my fear of being wrong, to stop appealing and appeasing to the masses and really allow myself to be fully present, fully me once again. To allow my tribe to vibe with me.
Truth be spoken...if you don't vibe with me, you are not my tribe. That is totally okay too...no hurt feelings. I just had to be me to best serve you...and I sure want you to be you!! Fully unapologetically YOU.
So lets create a life full of magical happenings for you.
Life is very much like the tides. We have our moments of high and low. We suffer through stormy seas causing waves to rise and fall with power and frequency. It even destroys things during this time. We also have times of absolute stillness...not a ripple can be seen as we are at complete rest.
When we think in terms of the ocean, we think how beautiful and also how necessary that is. We just know its mother nature doing that what she does. It's completely natural for this to occur and it is expected.
Funny how when we talk about it in the human sense we feel so differently. Yet there really is no difference. All of those cycles are needed for our humanness also.
Life itself ebbs and flows. When we are in a nice easy motion of it we are comfortable and happy. When it gets stormy and rough we consider this awful and difficult.
We don't ever really stop to appreciate the storms. The storms allow us to cleanse and purge what is no longer needed for our higher good. It also allows us to deeply appreciate the calm that follows the storms. Feeling a bit tired yet somehow renewed. Reminding us of the inner power we hold within that we harness.
Those moments of calm stillness really allow us to reflect and listen to our inner voice so deeply. We can really feel what stirs deep within us. We may even allow things to break free and come to the surface.
All in all, change is good. We fear change when we should embrace it...and many times you are pushed into change for your higher good. Change many times is an evolution of yourself that is needed and necessary for growth.
The hardest part is just accepting change needs to happen. How do you know if a change needs to happen? Are you feeling like your tired of the same ole same ole? Does life seem so mundane and predictable? Do you find yourself daydreaming? Are you sick and tired of feeling melancholy and tired? Have you lost your desire for things you once loved? Are you losing time do to the routine trance you are heavily in? Sweet soul...those are your signs.
So isn't it time to makes some moves and create that change you so want need and desire? Are you ready to have a zest for life again? Then isn't it time to commit to you and making that change happen? Take your power and make waves baby!
Why is it that we hide so much of ourselves from even those closest to us. Even those whom we say we trust...yet we hold pieces back.
I know I held back for fear of judgement...of shame...of guilt...even for pity. Oh even to write that is like nails on a chalkboard. Ugh...don't pity me or anyone!! Just DON'T
Let's get real...we all have things we do, say, and think, we worry will slip out. And what happens when it does?? We fear the loss of friends or relationships...maybe jobs or positions...maybe we worry about humiliation. We think heavily on the judgment that will surface and our concerns for not being accepted. It SUCKS!!
Yet we keep listening to those people telling us to be authentic yet slap us in our faces when we do. We get judged for what we do, believe or how we act because it didn't fit their image of what they wanted us to be.
These are the people who always tell you to be yourself yet we have learned to offer who we are deep down CAREFULLY, never really opening fully due to the fear of really exposing ourselves. Somewhere along the lines, we learned that fully allowing someone to know us leads to us being hurt. It is sad that we learn this so young. We also carry the weight of this throughout our lifetime.
It doesn't make sense we either really want to know someone or we don't. I personally want to know people. ALL OF YOU and free from judgment, shame guilt or humiliation. Everyone on this beautiful planet has suffered emotional trauma, has fears, does something or likes something out of the norm. Whatever it maybe we are all different and have different likes and beliefs for a reason. That is what gives us our uniqueness and our depth. I personally love learning about people's uniqueness. I celebrate the weird, the different,the light, the dark, the up, the down,the ins and outs...I celebrate it all and I celebrate YOU all.
I love offering a space for YOU to show up ..the whole package of you. That is who I want to know and grow with. Not a small version..but all of you.
I have been afraid as well to show all of me at times and it feels awful. It becomes a job to censor ourselves to fit into the box of what someone else perceived as normal. No more of that shit for me. I am done trying to hold myself back to fit someone else's box.
I hope you join me in smashing the walls of boxes and chose to show up whole. The beautiful amazing unique person you were created to be. Remove the weight of censorship and someone else's perception.
Let us celebrate this movement of freedom. Let's really be the voice of authenticity.
Drop me a picture, a GIF or comment and let me know if you are ready to REALLY be you.
Funny the things we hold on to that we no longer need.
I used to have a marble cutting board. I had this for over 20 years or more. I didn't really use it as a cutting board anymore it had become more of a counter piece. I just couldn't seem to let it go.
Most people would look at it and wouldn't see it as anything special, but to me..it is very special. This piece of marble had saved me twice. I literally mean saved my life...TWICE.
Let me explain regarding one of those times......
The first time I was cooking dinner for my children, my husband at the time had been out partying with pals. He returned unexpectedly and under quite the influence of alcohol and drugs. He was stumbling and cursing and I hear the children begin to scamper down the hall to hide. One of the children dropped a toy in the process of their fleeing for their hiding place and my husband stepped on it. His temper EXPLODED!
He screamed and shouted and started into a huge rage. The children became so incredibly scared and ran into the kitchen for safety. I opened the laundry closet and hid them in there and shut the bifold door...(there was a spot I made especially for them to hide beside the dryer with blankets, flashlights, juice boxes, and snacks.)
He came stumbling into the kitchen screaming at me for being a lazy ass bitch. He kept grabbing my hair and yanking me around the kitchen all the while screaming at me how worthless I was. I didn't know how to keep a good house or how to control what our children did. He still had a grasp on my hair and smacked my face hard against the door frame as he attempted to drag me out to show me the toy he stepped on. I got a partway around the door and pulled back into the kitchen getting loose from his grip so that I could turn off the stove and dump out the boiling water for my safety.
As I finished dropping the pot into the sink, he stormed back into the kitchen filled with fury and rage from my escaping his grip, and as I danced around missing his grasp once more, he grew even more enraged. He then lifted his hand up high over his head and started to thrust down his fist at my chest, when I saw he had the kitchen knife. In just a flash of a moment, I grabbed this piece of marble slab and pulled it up just in time for him to hit the blade into it the slab, causing the blade to break off and fall to the ground.
Realizing what he just did, I think he was partially shocked a well, he told me to fuck off and he stumbled out to the back porch to drink more.
I stood there in utter shocked at what just occurred..and beyond grateful to this slab of marble. I leaned down and kissed this slab so hard with tears falling from my eyes and thanked whatever angels blessed this stone and sent it to me for my safety. Not realizing there would one more time it would save me.
So, as I had continued to move over the years I drag along this heavy-weighted piece. Trust me this piece of pure marble was very heavy. Now, the funny thing is it doesn't any longer serve a purpose or offer the protection that was once needed. I seem to continue to hold on to this for no real reason...not really leaving room for something new or better to come along. I just kept dragging it along because at one point it had served a purpose. Although now it just seems to be a weight I carry from place to place. Although I finally released that...this last move I made I let it be someone else something special. I released the weight of it.
Then I started to think if I am doing this with this piece of heavy marble.....what else internally am I holding on to?? The stuff you can't see but sure as hell can feel. The heavy stuff we carry on the inside weighing us down. What else do I insist on dragging with me to weigh me down?? What else can I release to make room for bigger and better to fill-in?
How about you?? What do you insist on dragging with you and weighing yourself down that no longer has need or service for you?
10 Truths for Inner Peace and Happiness...That Yes really are this simple.Stop over thinking, overreacting and worrying. Take control of your thoughts so you can control your emotions and have peace and happiness.
1- Surrender is the gateway into your inner peace ...Let that sh*t GO
2- It is impossible for anyone else to define you-YOU define you
3- Forgiveness is your gift you give yourself to be free
4- You were born with everything you need, you are not missing anything
5- When met with challenges know they are unlocking your full potential
6- Perfection is a myth an illusion
7- Your calling and purpose in life is to be unapologetically YOU
8- You are not the noisy thoughts within your head
9- The same amount of energy it takes to be down is what is required to be up
10- Your thoughts and beliefs can lift you up you are fully in control.
Your Trauma Is Valid
Many times when we have gone through something traumatic or experienced major events we tend to lean in towards our friends.
Sometimes our friends are well-meaning, they offer to understand, they offer someone to be listening. Although well-meaning friends sometimes they want to express to us that they have experienced worse, making us feel as if what we experienced was not so bad or diminish the capacity of the trauma.
I once sat with a friend who tried to be someone I could lean on, someone I could confide in, the problem was she always like to "one-up me". You know the person who has to have suffered something also equally or even worse. Problem with that is it has a sense of invalidating the experiences we have.
See this friend of mine always had something else going on, she never let me fully open up and discuss the issues that I was suffering with. I was in a very abusive marriage psychologically, emotionally, physically, and spiritually; it seemed like there was no end to this narcissistic alcoholic drug-induced abuse, but every time I would try to lean into this friend she had to tell a tale of her oh woe is me. Causing me to close up and think I needed to suffer through this alone.
So one night my husband had had one too many pills, one too many drinks and yet again was trying to figure out how he was going to kill me and not get caught. I had managed to escape loading my children in their pajamas, waking them from their beds screaming for them to run, and I myself in nothing more than a t-shirt and underwear, loading into a van. I was driving around for hours, although I wanted to go to my friend's house just for a sanctuary, someplace safe that I could be.... but my heart wouldn't let me go in that direction.
The truth was I didn't want to hear another one of her stories, I didn't want to make her feel like her story didn't matter when in return she was making me feel as if my story never mattered at all. Or to make me feel as if my fear wasn't real or somehow diminished that the reality of my situation maybe was a bit exaggerated and so I would drive until exhaustion finally kicked in and I could find a safe parking lot to park my minivan with my children and myself locking the doors underneath the light....waiting until I knew he had gone to work before I can return home.
Sometimes our friends no matter how well-meaning, they offer to understand they offer someone to be listening. Although well-meaning friends sometimes they want to express to us that they have experienced worse, making us feel as if what we experience was not so bad.
So when I ask you to take a good look at who you're telling your stories to, are they really listening to you? Are they really leaning in to support you? To love you and to uplift you and to help you through your healing process?
Do they have the tools and the strategies to help get you through this position and into that healing process? I know sometimes it's so hard to be honest with ourselves, although, in our heart and our heads we see and know the truth, we feel and know the truth, it's the acting upon that truth that becomes so difficult.
Funny how we don't want to disappoint our friends or we don't want to disappoint people in our lives who are showing us a certain amount of loving compassion. I asked you to look at yourself with that same self-love and self-compassion to stop worrying about letting other people down and worry about the fact you continue to let yourself down by not allowing yourself to heal and to heal fully.
It is absolutely possible to heal from all types of trauma, and the amazing way you will feel once you get to release it. I promise you that is on the other side of that pain. I asked you to stop stuffing it down trying to hide it in places because it is building up and you will have no choice but to release and it will release when you least want it to.
So take some time look at yourself look at your friends and get really honest.
✨Are you ready to heal?
✨Are you ready to let that shit go?
✨Are you ready to step into that process?
Although it is not an easy process it is a necessary process and if you are ready to take those steps schedule a Discovery call and let's get to Healing!
Isn't it time to love yourself and stop your pain?
Instead of investing in begging and pleading for the pain to go away, what if you stop get still and CHOOSE to hear what your pain is begging YOU for.
What a concept I know. That is exactly what I thought, but I did finally stop and take a listen to what I was being begged for through my pain.
Most recently I just lost my dad, June 10, 2019. The full scope had not fully hit and I did not want to allow myself to let the waves of emotions hit me. I tried to stuff them down. Like if I don't accept these emotions none of this happened he wasn't really gone.
See losing my dad truly wiped me emotionally. My dad was the last of my core family ( Mom, Dad and 3 brothers). Back when I was a teenager my eldest brother was murdered 10 days before Christmas. That altered our Christmas for many years after as you can imagine. Although we worked through and moved forward. 6 years ago I went through a terrible phase of grief and loss; I lost my mom 12 days before Christmas, then 4 months later I lost my little brother he was just 40. I couldn't get even get through the first wave of grief before getting the second crashing wave. I swore I couldn't even breath.
Just when I thought I could start to breathe I got hit again with more loss, a young man who had lived with me like a son, trying to figure out life was killed tragically followed by a very near and dear friend who died from an accident. I was so mad at the world I could hardly contain my rage...How the hell is this really happening to me? I was then offered by the universe a very difficult year of one major issue after another. I still wasn't taking time to heal ....just begging it all to stop. Then I lost my last brother, so unexpected. My world shook like nothing I ever experienced.
My pain gave me no choice but to now find out what it was begging me for. So I started working with a few books,videos, programs and finally committed to a coach. And WOW...the stuff I was finally able to release and then listen to the pain. HUGE positive impact on my life. That is when the moment hit me...pain is begging US to listen....so we really need to stop begging pain to stop. The pain does stops when we listen.
I now really listen when I feel the pain coming up. So when I lost my dad back a few months ago...I finally stopped and got still and I still stop when I need to. I get quiet and I listened to the pain from the grief. It tells me a lot, and I care for it...I give love to it. I hold it at times and give it the true nurturing it deserved. The pain begins to lessen and lessens more each day. I am wise enough to also know grief crashes in like an invited guest, but instead of throwing it out, I give it the attention it needs so it will not need to visit every day for the attention.
So now I ask you the questions;
✨what is your pain begging you for?
✨What do you need to stop and listen to your pain about?
✨Are you ready now to listen?
✨Do know it is perfectly okay to ask for help to get through your pain?
If you are ready to finally listen to your pain so that it no longer begs you, and you can live life not in the pain struggle cycle. Ready to remove that feeling of unbalance and feel strong and in control? Then let's get a plan and get you the healing you deserve. Life is too wonderful to be held back with emotional pain.